Wednesday, 31 July 2013

The Rob Gotobed 2013 Calendar

Hi! My name is Rob Gotobed and I run The Rob Gotobed Novelty Shop.

People often ask me how I keep my prices so low at The Rob Gotobed Novelty Shop?

The answer is simple!!

All my products are stolen goods that I buy from thieves! I also don’t offer a guarantee or after-sales service on any of my products.

I can also assure you that you won’t find any quality brands at The Rob Gotobed Novelty Shop, but you will find two large Alsatian dogs in the yard at the back of the shop, so don’t get any ideas.

Today’s special offer….


One of my happy customers writes...

Dear Rob Gotobed

What a con most of these so-called "calendars" are. Not so the superb effort form Rob Gotobed which gives us 36 days in July and a whopping 46 days in August!!

What a bargain for my $9.99!! Just like Rob Gotobed to give such good value in two months when it's warm enough to enjoy the extra 20 days!!

Good on you Rob!

Love and bear hugs

Prince Charles xxx

PS: Mum says “Hi!”


Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Hi! My name is Rob Gotobed!!

Hi! My name is Rob Gotobed!

I collect copies of ‘Rumours’ by Fleetwood Mac on CD.

I now have over six thousand CDs with ‘Rumours’ on it. Some of these are in mint condition, and are worth a great deal of money, and some are worth even more because of a tiny imperfection. For instance, one copy has the songs from ‘Tusk’ on the CD, and even the cover of ‘Tusk’. This raises its value to thirteen dollars!!

My greatest pleasure is sitting in my storage room and going through my collection!

Be seeing you!!


Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Emma? A POEM!

And now a short poem, written by Rob Gotobed & A Gentleman in homage to the love of his life the actress Emma Watson. It is simply called, ‘Emma – why did you serve that restraining order on me?’

If I were a boat I’d steer to you,
A pantyhose, adhere to you.

If I were a plumber I’d plumb your depths,
A pancake maker, I’d stuff your crepes!

If I were a breeze I’d ruffle your skirt,
A squeezy bottle, I’d give you a squirt!!

If I were a wok I’d stir fry you,
A guardian angel, be there for you!

If I were a glass blower I’d blow you a kiss,
If I were a poem, I’d end like this…

Be seeing You!


Wednesday, 3 July 2013

The Recession : The 10 Worst Things!!

1. North Korean television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

2. Wives are having sex again with their husbands - because they can't afford batteries!

3. Exxon-Mobil has had to lay off 125 Congressmen.

4. Truckloads of Americans have been caught sneaking into Mexico.

5. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

6. A picture is now only worth 168 words.

7. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

8. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

9. I saw a Mormon polygamist yesterday with only one wife.

10. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!!

And if that wasn't bad enough! Today I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail!!

Be seeing you!!