If I was Spiderman, which I’m not, I would probably just make lots of web hammocks and take lots of naps… (Other Superheroes are available).
Wednesday, 2 April 2014
Britney’s® Crazy Fish Tank Emporiums 2014 are now open!!
Yes, Britney Spears is proud to announce that her new ‘Crazy Fish Tank Emporiums’ are now open for business!!
Yes Britney’s® offers:
*The world’s zaniest Fish Tank experience*
*Kids love it*
*Britney specialises in parties*
No fuss; just Fish Tanks – “Is there anything else? No, just Fish Tanks!!”
“Is that fish in military tanks?” No you Tosser, it’s just fish swimming around in Fish Tanks!!
New for 2014:
Why buy an expensive fish tank, when you can hire one for half the price? Britney’s® hire service is open 24 hours a day, and our fish tanks can be hired for as little as two minutes or as long as two hundred years!
Our tinted black windows are great for ugly fish, and our bullet-proof glass can withstand up to fifty bullets!!
What’s that you say, do we have Nostalgic Fish Tanks?
Yes, fish tanks that remind you of a gentler age, including Victorian wooden fish tanks a speciality. (Warning: non-transparent!!)
How do we do it? Britney’s crazy that’s how!
Would you like a fish tank for a dollar? What about three and half fish tanks for $5? Or, what about eight fish tanks for 5 cents?
How do we stay in business?
Don’t you worry about that, Britney will worry about that – coz, that’s her lookout!!
So, why not come around and ask for me, Mental Rob Gotobed! Or for one of my assistants, Mental Lindsay Lohan or Mental Paris Hilton? We’re all mental, and we’re ready to serve you!!
Public Notice: Last week’s ‘Lucky Number’ was Fish Tank Number 78!!
“The world of fish tanks is now a lot safer than it was when I first became President. Advances in fish tank technology by Britney Spears has revolutionised the industry.” Barack Obama The Whitehouse January 2014.
Please note: All Britney’s® staff are guaranteed to be sexually harassed!