Wednesday, 16 July 2014

A Week in the Life of David Beckham & Posh Spice 

(The Completely Made-Up Diary Of A Superstar & A Part-Time Footballer - Or is it?!?!)


MONDAY.
Just heard that some Cockney Geezer is trying to sell the house in London where Posh lived when she was a kid. He wants 4.5 million pounds for it! Obviously I'm very hurt I don't think it's right for someone to make disgusting amounts of money exploiting our childhood and our good names …..that's our job!

TUESDAY.
Spent the morning training with the lads at Los Angeles Galaxy Football Club. Some people in England think I've been going downhill since I left Manchester United, but that's not how I see it! I mean Manchester's got a crap shopping centre but here in LA their training ground is near Rodeo Drive. To  Posh and me, that's real progress.

WEDNESDAY.
Me and Posh are very interested in politics. Victoria is still furious about the whole British MPs' expenses scandal! Today she said, "It's disgusting 'Golden Balls', (that's her pet name for me), but some English MP is claiming expenses for his moat!" We were outraged! How come he's got a moat and we haven't! I've got the diggers coming to our Castle next Monday.

THURSDAY.
Posh is in a proper strop about me chatting up another woman! I told her I was debating farm subsidies in the United Kingdom. She immediately picked up a frying pan and said, "Oh yeah? Well debate this!!"
She then hit me 3 or 4 times with the frying pan. I'm not really sure how many times, because you don't really count, do you? I must admit I don't remember much after that!

FRIDAY.
Posh is still not talking to me. To be honest, she's been moody ever since those pictures came out of her leaving her gym in LA looking all rough and sweaty! That was very upsetting for our boys. - They didn't recognise their mum without her make-up!

SATURDAY.
Played a football match, then took Posh out to dinner to make up for our fight. Obviously, I got confused, living in all these different places, getting used to new kinds of food. But Posh never has any trouble. Like she says, " a lettuce is always a lettuce, anywhere in the world".

Be seeing you!!


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