Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Rob Gotobed: 22 Things You Never Knew!

1. Rob Gotobed is one of the few people who believe Roger Rabbit was guilty.

2. American scientists are working on a robot Rob Gotobed to go and entertain the unmanned drones in Afghanistan.

3. Rob believes that everything he draws with his magic crayon comes to life.

4. On one occasion Rob successfully breastfed an injured giraffe back to health.

5. Every night Rob goes to sleep with both middle fingers up - just in case a burglar breaks in during the night.

6. Rob actually believes that it was Zorro who put the mark on Harry Potter's forehead.

7. Rob once ruptured a disc playing Rock Band: Roadie Edition.

8. Rob is banned from the Deadwood branch of Dunkin’ Donuts.

9. Rob says, “The hardest thing about being the REAL JAMES BOND is not telling the world”

10. Rob Gotobed thought he once heard a moped approaching but it turned out to be 600 bees on a regular bicycle.

11. Rob thinks there's no nicer feeling than urinating into a bottle. But other times he hates his job at the brewery.

12. After every comedy performance, his favourite treat is to lick his testicles clean with his tongue.

13. He once ate a very small bus.

14. In 2010, Rob Gotobed claimed to have discovered the clitoris and invented the wheel.

15. In 2011, he claimed he had found the Holy Grail - which he now keeps safe in his girlfriend’s handbag.

16. In 2012, he claimed it was ‘he’ who took the bite out of the Apple logo.

17. Rob has two sets of testicles, neither of which are his own.

18. According to reliable sources, Rob Gotobed’s naked body looks like the discount rack in an Old Navy store.

19. Rob Gotobed has a pet dolphin called Russell which he keeps in a hutch he built himself.

20. According to his Management, Rob Gotobed will completely shed his skin up to five times during his comedy shows.

21. Every Thursday evening Rob likes to go to his local McDonald’s just for the free mustard sachets.

22. Rob Gotobed claims to be the only person on Earth who knows the real identity of Superman.

NB. All facts were correct at time of going to press.

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