Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Rob Gotobed: Another 21 Things You Never Knew!

1. Rob Gotobed is not the Rob Gotobed mentioned in the bible.

2. Every night Rob goes to sleep with both middle fingers up - just in case a burglar breaks in during the night.

3. Rob Gotobed thought he once heard a moped approaching but it turned out to be 600 bees riding a regular bicycle.

4. Rob calls his girlfriend’s boobs "Simon & Garfunkel" because they're both different and one is slightly smaller and weirder than the other one.

5. Rob’s hobby of recreating aerial dogfights is really expensive. He says you’re looking at between 80-90 helium filled balloons just to lift one poodle.

6. Rob once went into a bank, pulled out a gun, and shouted "Everybody be cool!" ….And then handed out sunglasses and baseball caps.

7. Rob was once shot at by a bank security guard just for pulling out a hairdryer and trying to fix a teller’s hair.

8. “U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer is Rob’s favourite song about not touching things.

9. Rob was going to go as ‘The G Spot’ to a Halloween party last year but he couldn’t find his costume.

10. If one more person tells Rob he has trichotillomania, he’s going to pull his hair out.

11. Rob’s got a superpower but it's not very impressive. He is able to fly but only two feet off the ground.

12. Rob once showed his tattoo of his grandmother to his other grandmother. …..To be honest, it didn’t go well.

13. On one occasion Rob successfully breastfed an injured giraffe back to health.

14. Rob’s favourite word that he’s never actually used is kerfufflepuff.

15. In 2014, he claimed to buy toilet tissue by the grit rating.

16. In 2015, he claimed it was ‘he’ who took the bite out of the Apple logo.

17. Rob Gotobed’s farts smell of elderberries.

18. Many men are intimidated by beautiful women who shoot bolts of lightning from their breasts. Not Rob. He draws them all the time.

19. Some ancient South American tribes believe that if Rob Gotobed should remove his underpants the world will come to an end.

20. To this day, Rob still won't reveal which Muppet he dated for seven months in 2001. Our money is on Beaker.

21. Rob Gotobed is not interested in publicity.

NB. All facts were correct at time of going to press.

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