Wednesday, 9 September 2015

National Shakespeare Day

Today is National Shakespeare Day and although I often walk around London dressed as William Shakespeare, I do not feel that I am reincarnated in anyway. - I’m just bard to the bone! (Sorry about that one folks).

Little known fact: William Shakespeare wore a frilly ruff around his neck, but he also wore one down his boxer shorts.

Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to announce my collaboration with my latest comedy writing partner, William Shakespeare (Reincarnated!!)

Here’s what we’ve collaborated on so far….

Lady Macbeth, woefully regretting the addition of a dog to the castle daintily wipes up the urine off the floor, and curses, "Out! Out, damn Spot!"

William Shakespeare walks into ‘Ye Olde McDonald’s’ and asks for a double Macbeth Burger and fries.

And now this great Shakespearean joke:
"Et tu, Brute?"
"Aye, Caesar, for one was not enough!"

Well at least we didn’t write.. “We've come to seize your berries, not to appraise them!” Nor, “Now is the discount of our winter tents!"

BREAKING NEWS: Announcing the end of my collaboration with my ex-comedy writing partner, William Shakespeare (Reincarnated!!)

Yikes! Shakespeare is now hitting on my trusting girlfriend. She’s flattered. “He’s paunchy”, I keep informing her. - But to no avail.

Annoyed! I have just told Shakespeare that he is too Dickensian!

Be seeing You!

PS: Actually I think William Shakespeare is over rated. After all, all he did was take a lot of well known quotations and stick them together.

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