Wednesday, 30 September 2015

The Rob Gotobed Speak Better Englandish Like Wot i Do Dictionary.

This week sees the long awaited release of The Rob Gotobed speak Better Englandish Like Wot i Do Dictionary. Here are a few extracts:

‘Baby Monitor’ (noun) – a modern child’s introduction to the surveillance society.
‘Bling’ (noun) – noise made by Chinese telephone.
‘Bikini Line’ (shaven noun) – the queue outside Rob Gotobed’s tour trailer.
‘Claustrophobia’ (noun/verb) – the fear of Santa Claus!
‘Creche’ (noun/verb) – a bump to the car in the ‘posh’ parts of England.
‘Flea’ (noun) – a tiny, bloodsucking parasite, which if it were the size of a human being would be in financial services!
‘Olympic ideal’ (abstract noun) – undetectable steroids.
‘Pessimist’ (noun) – an optimist who learns from experience.
‘The Pill’ (noun/verb) – a great way of teaching teenage girls the days of the week!!
‘Scrotum’ (noun) – the only must-have bag for men.
‘Two-up, two-down’ (noun) – a pre-op transsexual!
‘Windbreak’ (noun) – a few days respite from the Atkins diet.
‘Liposuction’ (noun) – costly technique allowing cosmetic surgeons to live off the ‘fat’ of the land.
‘Hibernation’ (verb) – nature’s way of avoiding Christmas television!
‘Blondes’ (noun) – a dyeing breed!
‘Canapé’ (verb) – a complaint from a penniless Scotsman.
 ‘Carrot and stick’ (noun) – a supermodel and her lunch! (Or should that be vice versa?)

Be seeing You!

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