Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Who You Gonna Call?

In the week it was announced that drinking hot tea gives you throat haemorrhoids, spending time on Facebook raises the risk of serious health problems, and just one glass of wine a day can increase the risk of male impotency by 99%, we are pleased to introduce Rob Gotobed Healthbuster!

Yes, Dr Gotobed author of the best selling book: ‘Salt - It Knows Where You Live!’ has been leading the way in scaring people since 1974!

Although Rob cannot enter into individual correspondence, as this is associated with him bothering to write back, and having to find a pen. He is willing to answer your questions via this column, and as he says: “If, by the end, I haven’t squeezed all the pleasure out of your life then I haven’t done my job properly.”

All of Dr Gotobed’s replies are backed up by scientific-sounding evidence of the kind that doesn’t bear close scrutiny. “You can be sure of that!” confirmed Dr Gotobed who would also like to make it clear that he did not buy his doctorate even though it cost him $7799 via a correspondence course he actually never completed.

He also added, ‘that living for a long time can lead to old age’ and ‘that flower arranging can cause your ankles to go missing.’

Anyway we are sure you will find the following Dr Gotobed Handy Health Tips’ invaluable…

1. If you feel a build-up of cholesterol then blow into your handkerchief.

2. Just because you have a desk job it doesn’t mean you have to be sedentary – put the desk on your back and take it out to lunch.

3. Marijuana should not count as one of your five-a-day vegetables.

4. Joining a health club is always a step in the right direction, but would it kill you to just eat less pizza?

5. Always bend your knees when you lift something heavy, because those leggings turn sheer when you bend over.

6. If we are what we eat and you’re a squirrel? Then it’s time to face up to it, you’re nuts.

7. Always look away when you see a cute kitten playing with wool.

Be seeing you

Dr Rob Gotobed
The only doctor who every time one of his patients drop their pants, gives them a high-five and says, "Way to go".

**This blog was sponsored by Dr Rob Gotobed’s Healthbusters – 'We're ready to scare you!'

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