I tried and this is what happened....
Every day I walk down the street and tell passers by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, performing stand-up comedy and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them - and it works!
Just like on Facebook, I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist!
And that, dear friends, is why I don't use Facebook. - So stop trying to get me to join!