This week we are proud to present a Halloween Special entitled, ‘Stranger than truth - The curse of the Vampire Scrotums!’
Rob Gotobed says:
“There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is how far is it from my home and how late does it stay open?
How many of us have not, at one time or another, felt an ice-cold scrotum on the back of our head while we were home alone? (Not me, thank God, but some have - in fact, my girlfriend has many a time.)
But what is behind these experiences? Or in front of them, for that matter?
Also, after death is it still possible to take showers? And if so, do ghosts have ray-guns?
Fortunately, these questions about psychic phenomena are answered in my soon to be published book, ‘Boo To You!’ In which I have assembled a remarkable history of supernatural incidents such as the bizarre experience of two brothers on opposite parts of the globe, one of whom took a bath while the other suddenly got clean.
What follows is but a sampling…”
First up: The Nun’s Story….
“Hello! I’m a genuine nun. I recently got more than I bargained for when I complained about the standard of food hygiene at my local Wal-Mart. Unfortunately for me, the Manager of the food department, a Mr Scrotum, is the nephew of the local Witchdoctor.
Mr Scrotum then asked his uncle to put an evil ‘scrotum’ on me, invoking the deadly brand of local voodoo known as ‘scrotumnoysis!!’ As a result of this evil curse, I suddenly began to take on many of the characteristics more often associated with trees, growing a strange bark around my body and growing branches and leaves out of my head. A visit to an ex-nun friend of mine, who also practices as a witchdoctor, failed to secure an antidote - but I am hopeful of shedding some leaves during the Fall.”
Next up John’s story…
“Hi!! My name is John. I recently got more than I bargained for when I stayed at the Rob Gotobed Hotel in London. I used one of the hotel’s disposable scrotums to go in the shower, but then suddenly, minutes later, I developed a terrible green rash, - like the one you get from too much masturbation, - and now no-one likes to sit beside me on the bus. It’s not my fault! The green fungus is so bad it spreads onto chairs and carpets. Some of it even spread onto my cooker and got into my food”.
Also in the book, Rob Gotobed explains why he believes the spirit world is more advanced than ours by approximately fifteen minutes, and why ghosts ‘hovering’ may be a socially acceptable mode of relating in the spirit world.
As Rob says, ‘hovering’ may indeed be very pleasurable. I myself once hovered over an eighteen-year-old actress for six hours and had the best time of my life!! This has not affected me in anyway, although I can no longer converse with my girlfriend without the use of a hand puppet.”
*** This update was dictated by Gizmo the hand puppet.
Next week on ‘Stranger than Truth – When Book Shelves attack.’
Be seeing yoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!