Thursday, 7 April 2016

Rob Gotobed: Another 23 Things You Never Knew!

1. Rob Gotobed is not the Rob Gotobed mentioned in the bible.

2. Every night Rob goes to sleep with both middle fingers sticking up! - Just in case a burglar breaks in during the night.

3. Rob Gotobed thought he once heard a Harley-Davidson approaching but it turned out to be 600 bees riding a regular bicycle.

4. Rob calls his girlfriend’s boobs "Simon & Garfunkel" because they're both different and one is slightly smaller and weirder than the other one.

5. Rob’s hobby of recreating aerial dogfights is really expensive. He says you’re looking at between 80-90 helium filled balloons just to lift one dog.

6. Rob once went into a bank, pulled out a gun, and shouted "Everybody be cool!" ….And then handed out sunglasses and baseball caps.

7. Rob was once shot at by a bank security guard just for pulling out a hairdryer and trying to fix a teller’s hair.
                        Yes Mr Gotobed I think I can reach that pound coin you dropped.

8. On one occasion Rob successfully breastfed an injured giraffe back to health.

9. Rob was going to go as ‘The G Spot’ to a Halloween party last year but he couldn’t find the costume.

10. To make his pectoral muscles, Madame Tussauds Waxworks in London had to melt down both Justin Bieber AND Arnold Schwarzenegger.

11. Rob thinks there's no nicer feeling than urinating into a bottle. But other times he hates his part-time job at the brewery.

12. Rob once showed his tattoo of his grandmother to his other grandmother. …..To be honest, it didn’t go well.

13. Rob Gotobed once had an affair with Iron Man's mother.

14. Rob actually believes that it was Zorro who put the mark on Harry Potter's forehead.

Recently Rob's Stand Up hasn't been going too well. So he's experimenting by going in a different direction.

15. Rob’s favourite word that he’s never actually used is kerfufflepuff.

16. In 2014, he claimed to buy toilet tissue by the grit rating.

17. In 2015, he claimed it was ‘he’ who took the bite out of the Apple logo.

18. In 2016, his penis exploded during a live television debate.

19. Many men are intimidated by beautiful women who shoot bolts of lightning from their breasts. Not Rob! He draws them all the time.

20. Some ancient South American tribes believe that if Rob Gotobed should remove his underpants the world will come to an end.

21. In time of war it is against the Geneva convention to have SEX with Rob Gotobed.

22. To this day, Rob still won't reveal which Muppet he dated for seven months in 2012. Our money is on Beaker.

     Rob's favourite pet bee 'Buzzy' is still missing. If you see him please get in contact with us.

23. Rob Gotobed is not interested in publicity.

NB. All facts were correct at time of going to press.